ginawdw: (SIGH)
I believe that by trying to get rid of the spirits in the house (specifically: the boys' playroom), I inadvertently caused more problems. I didn't do anything out of the ordinary, but on February 10th, I had Alex help me hang up some glow-in-dark stars, a dream catcher, and a Pagan star symbol. We didn't cast any spells, do a blessing, or anything else... I simply wanted to help Alex try to make things a little less scary in that room; if he helped me put things up that were comforting to him, maybe he'd stop seeing things.

No... he hasn't.

And now Chris and I have been seeing/hearing things. Oh, joy.

I am getting tired of hearing heavy footfalls upstairs in our bedroom (we keep the door closed ALWAYS) when I'm alone and the cats are sleeping in the living room (where I spend most of my days) or in the boys' room, laying on the beds (I spot them in there when I go to investigate the noises). I can usually tell when the cats are wrestling with each other; there's scrambling, bumping, and light body slams against the floor, sometimes yowling. What I hear is entirely different, like someone is getting out of my bed and stomping around--like Chris is up there, but I *know* he's at work.

Chris has been hearing scratching noises (which may be mice, but he doesn't want to rule out anything just yet). I've seen something TWICE in our bedroom, something about the same size as me, and it seems female in nature. Alex saw a young woman (not a little girl) in his playroom, putting things into a container. Tonight, he saw a man come up the stairs, turn right (into the sitting room), and walk toward our bedroom. He thought it was Chris' dad, but when Alex told me the man had a mustache, I knew that *wasn't* George; George never had facial hair. So, I don't know who Alex saw...

In any case, the point of this is that I think my head injury on February 11th was not an accident. I am pretty sure I closed that freezer door after I wiped it out, so *how* did it pop open and swing out just enough to be positioned right over me so I would hit it when I stood up? Be skeptical, call me crazy, or just dismiss it, but *some*thing opened that door.

Chris is concerned about Alex and I, because I have been falling deeper into Depression--and Alex has been seeing more spirits. It's possible the two are connected; I could be manifesting something... or something has moved in here and is causing me to spiral downward. I am tired more often (head injury aside), I don't want to leave the house (but when I do, I feel better), I'm more irritable, I don't want to cook/clean/interact with others in the house, I don't want to engage in intimacy with my husband (but do because I don't want to hurt his feelings)... It's becoming a real problem for me. I haven't felt suicidal, but I am definitely very unhappy.

I want to make it known that I do not do drugs, I don't smoke or drink heavily, and I don't take prescription medication beyond Lysteda (2Xs a day, for 5 days each month), so it can't possibly be any of these things affecting my moods. Perhaps a small part of it is laziness, the things I eat, or pre-pre-menopause?

Still, it doesn't hurt to be safe; I *think* Chris is going to take some time out and try to cleanse/bless the house. He's also mentioned he's going to clear out some of the junk in the house. Whatever he does, I hope it works; because whatever is here isn't hurting anyone (thankfully), but they are causing discord--and that needs to stop.
ginawdw: (Me)
I have bronchitis (my doctor says it's just severe enough to be called pneumonia) and am taking Levaquin, which is also used to treat clamydia, anthrax, and the plague (*none* of which I have!).

Alex has improved his attitude a little, but still needs lots of work. He still touches things that don't belong to him and still has many sentences to write. Connor is getting better, too, but needs work on his focusing on homework and reading. Connor's teacher said (in last night's conference) that he has improved greatly in math and writing, but is still behind in reading, and has been given a warning hat he may be assigned to the next grade, instead of promoted. I meet with Alex's teacher in a few hours (provided I can breathe through my nose!) to find out what the deal is with him.

We filed our taxes, but the federal refund we should be receiving isn't going to come to us until March at the earliest. Normally, we get our refund in two weeks, but because Congress played around at the end of 2012, the IRS had its hands tied and now everything is backed up. Our state refund should be coming to us within two weeks (we hope), so we can pay off bills (mostly credit cards).

Two nights ago, Alex saw something in his playroom (around 4 a.m.), and it looked to be human. He woke up his brother and told him it was there, but when Connor looked, it disappeared--as Alex was watching it. This freaked Alex out more than anything, and he started screaming, which drew my attention. I was already up (thanks to being congested), so I ran into the room to check on them. Connor and Alex ended up sleeping in our room for the remainder of the night. Last night, there was no problem, because I instructed Connor to close the door to the playroom.

I have no doubt that Alex saw something; when I had woken an hour earlier, I had walked past something in my own bedroom. I felt a chill run through me, the hairs on my arm and neck stood up, and I paused briefly, then kept going until reaching the bathroom (although I was spooked, I really had to pee!), where I flipped on the light and looked back into the bedroom. Nothing was there, but it certainly looked as though something (side of a head and a shoulder about my height) was leaning toward me when I paused. My bedroom isn't immersed in complete darkness each night; I have thin curtains, and one of my neighbors has a floodlight they keep on a few nights a week. It's not difficult to see where things are in my room at night. So if something out of the ordinary is in the room, it's pretty noticeable. Anyway... I kept the bathroom light on the ENTIRE night--even after the kids came into the room, because I was a little unnerved.

In the morning, I videotaped the boys telling me their version of events, so some of my friends could see and tell me what they thought. One said it could be either a spirit passing through, attracted to my house because of Alex's enormous amounts of energy, or it's a manifestation of my own making, because I have been angry, tired, and depressed A LOT lately. Mostly angry, because of the disrespect I get from my kids. I hope the latter isn't true.

Took Connor and Billy to the mall yesterday (yes, I'm sick and there I go, spreading germs), where I added a few more dollars to my Disney gift card. I'm at $90, now; Connor has $40, and Alex has $55. My goal (as is both the boys) is $200.

My car is fixed; Chris couldn't afford to make one whole payment of $400, so asked the mechanic if he could pay in installments. Luckily, the mechanic said yes, because Chris has been a long-time loyal customer, so I got my car back yesterday and it has heat. It *did* need a new belt and thermostat, but the housing for the thermostat was also bad, as was the water pump. Now, it's all new! The mechanic's assistant praised the car for it's condition, despite being so old. :)


ginawdw: (Default)

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